Hairspray and Shortbus

I saw two movies this last weekend, both of which had been high on my “to-see” list for a while, Hairspray and Shortbus. On one hand they’re pretty far apart, the campy musical about interracial dancing and body acceptance in the 1960’s, and the full frontal exploration of various people finding their way through a sexual underground in post 9/11 New York. Somehow, though, both movies connected with me and tied into a few of the themes I’ve often visited in these pages of body acceptance, sexuality and spiritual connection.

Hairspray first. I’ve loved musicals ever since I was a kid, but somehow this one just never excited me. It looked too cheesy, too Hollywood, all build up and no real delivery. Suffice to say, I was blown away. The music alone is wonderful; I’ve been humming it for three days since I saw it. And the story, while cotton candy sweet, has some powerful messages.

On the surface, it’s the classic ugly duckling story, where the heroine does not conform to classic beauty standards (in this case being somewhat heavy) but finds that one guy who can look inside and see her true beauty. Nice, but clichéd, and so often those stories seem to never actually challenge the standards of beauty. Those movies often tell us, well its not that the person IS hot, it’s that their prospective partner discovers something about them that makes them hot- even though they are too fat/thin/old/poor/ugly, what have you. The basic idea, that this person does not conform to traditional ideas of beauty and thus must find some other part of her nature which redeems her attractiveness, isn’t really challenged.

Instead of falling into that cliché, Hairspray turns it on its head. When our heroine finally lands her dreamboat it’s not because he’s learned to see past her body- it’s that he’s seen how she dances, how comfortable she is in her own skin, how alive and sensual and sexual she is, and he sees how attractive that is, how attractive her moving, slinking, dancing body is. The more he gets to know her the more he falls for her, but its how she looks when she moves her body to the music that first really catches his eye- her comfort in her own skin and with her sexuality. In contrast to all the other girls who are model thin but terrified to move their hips to the music, Tracy, our heroine, lets her body come alive when she dances, moving as a sensual, sexual creature, and gets noticed for it.

That was pretty refreshing to see from a movie, not to mention the aforementioned toe-tapping, hum along, get stuck in your head music.

The other movie I saw was Shortbus. Between friends I knew who had been tangentially involved in its making to people reading my blog and telling me how much my stories reminded them of the movie, (having seen the movie I would disagree, but more on that later) to just all I heard about it, I had been wanting to see it for quite some time.. When our plans to see Wall-E got sidelined by the theater being sold out, Rachel, Emma and I settled in for a night of snuggles and Shortbus.

I think the best way I can explain my reaction to the film is that I liked the concept of the movie a good deal more then I did the movie itself. As one friend put it and I thoroughly agreed, I’m really glad I saw it, but I would have little urge to see it again.

From the first moments of the film, which jump back and forth between scenes of a man jerking off and trying to suck his own dick, a couple fucking and pleasuring each other in every position imaginable (and a few I’d never considered) to a man being beaten by a dominatrix and then masturbating at her command, all of which are shown in graphic detail, you get the clear impression that this movie is going to talk about (and show) sex in a way most movies only imply. That alone makes the movie worthwhile- it was so refreshing to see a movie that shows people having sex without falling into the conventions of porn. The sex is shown without meaning to titillate or arouse- it just is a part of what is going on. Even during the group sex scenes at the Shortbus parties (a salon style community where artist hang out and perform and where sex parties take place)- there are moments that are incredibly hot, but the camera shows them and then moves on.

More then anything, the portrayal of sex seemed incredibly real to me, in a way you almost never see in movies where everything is perfect romantic lighting and symmetry. A woman gets a leg cramp while masturbating, people awkwardly flirt and find each other at a sex party, three guys laugh and deal with figuring out which body part goes where while enjoying a 3some. That realism- about sex itself, about flirtation, about orgasms, was powerful and something I’d love to see from other movies.

So all of that should be the set up of a great movie, right? The problem is, having done so much to create the backdrop against which to tell an interesting story or introduce us to compelling characters, the movie fails to do either I don’t want to turn this into a review, and calling an art house movie about artists too artsy is probably an exercise in futility. And there were certainly moments that were poignant and character interactions that really hit me. But for the most part the story itself left a lot to be desired.

For one thing, the story focuses almost entirely on people who are newcomers to the sexual world of Shortbus. I would have really liked to see an exploration of at least one or two characters that are already in that space, and living that life. Having characters who are new to it gives a good vehicle to explore and certainly gives more to relate to for anyone who has no context of group sex and play parties, but you never get to see the people who are already in that world as anything more then exotic and foreign.

The denizens of Shortbus seem at their best when they are naked and fucking- the couple who are most romanticized and eroticized, and who in the end seem to provide erotic fulfillment for at least one of the characters, never speaks a word. They are a powerful presence, and certainly that highlights one aspect of the play party scene that can be incredibly beautiful, namely the encounter that is both anonymous and deeply intimate. But when every one of the other Shortbus regulars who does open their mouth is either cringworthily overly aggressive or downright mean, it doesn’t paint a flattering picture.

It doesn’t’ help that all of the characters who are exploring Shortbus for the first time seem to be doing so out of some kind of mental/sexual/psychological hole in their lives. We never meet the couple who have a great sex/romantic life and are excited to bring others into it, which is unfortunate since I’ve so often heard it repeated as almost a mantra that looking to group sex or the like to save a failing relationship or deal with other issues is a recipe for disaster.

For a movie that seems to challenge so many pieces of movie-making conventional wisdom, it was sad to see it fall into so many clichés, particularly a long middle section which seems to tell us that Shortbus is fine for the people already part of that world, but anyone else risks damaging their relationship/emotional health if they come too close.

My last critical point- for all the movies focus on how the people of short bus are the miscreants and oddballs and freaks (which was in and of itself another part of the movie I loved) – everyone of the main characters is beautiful. It’s a movie, I know, and no matter how far from the conventions of Hollywood you get, you’re still gonna deal with that, and I shouldn’t have been surprised, but I was. So much of what I’ve enjoyed about play party/sex community has been spaces where all body types are loved and appreciated, and while there were a few shots of larger people, they came off as tokenistic. On this point I’m probably being far too critical and expecting too much of a movie, but coming right after seeing this issue dealt with so well in Hairspray, I couldn’t help but notice.

As for the parties themselves- I thought the way they were portrayed was wonderful. The movie captures the hotness, and freedom, but also the awkwardness, the spontaneity, the humanness. There was none of the cult of decadence feel of movies like Eyes Wide Shut- part of what I often find so enjoyable about sex parties is that they make things that seem so strange at first, like public sex or group sex or sex with strangers, seem perfectly natural. Beyond that, it challenges whatever made us thing they aren’t natural in the first place. That element the movie captures really well

The party in Shortbus is deeply pan gender, and pan orientation. The sweeping scene shots show people playing in all sorts of gender permutations, and trans folk of all sorts appear throughout the movie. That aspect made me really happy, though it has ironically not been my experience, at least not since leaving California. The movie is based on a real community that existed in New York City at the beginning of this decade, and I’m sure those kinds of truly pan spaces do still exist here, but most of my own experience has been of a gulf between straight and queer communities here in NYC. I’ve been to some great parties where they overlapped for a night, like those thrown by Jefferson or others, but the only place I’ve seen the kind of pan-gender/pan orientation space on a regular basis was in California. The movie reminded me how much I miss that.

While talking about gender/orientation, its worth noting that I was also a little put off by how queer women are portrayed. The scenes in the women only space at Shortbus focus almost entirely on talking, not playing, and that talking moves from chit-chat into full on processing on a number of occasions. Interestingly, one of the deleted scenes actually explores this, with the women talking about gender dynamics at play parties. That scene puts an entirely new spin on the issue, and puts it. into a context. Without it, the scenes just come off as vaguely misogynistic. I don’t know if it was taken out just to cut time or as a conscious effort not to add one more interesting issue to the long list the movie already raises, but I was very sorry it was. The role of gender at play parties is such an important one, and by not addressing it, those scenes just ring a little hollow.

More then anything, I think what struck me about the movie was how it showed the way sometimes physicality and sexuality can break down walls and build bridges and connections where words fail. I think that’s a part of why the movie showed the sex scenes the way it did. We spend so much time talking about sexuality, talking about feelings, talking about connection- why not just show it? Why not just do it?

At heart I’m a talking, I’m a processor, and I don’t think it’s a bad thing. I’ve had friends who extolled the bathhouse culture of truly anonymous sexual encounters, and I just don’t think I could do it. I need the connection of words, of dialogue, even if the first time we speak is while cuddling and catching our breath. But there have been times in my life, times in my relationships, when I’ve kissed, touched, caressed, fucked someone, long time lover or total stranger, and we’ve both known that physical moment said more then we possibly could have with words. Said what needed to be said in a moment when words would have failed. That for me is one of the most beautiful things I’ve found in those spaces, and one of the things that Shortbus captured so well.